This World is Ugly Part 10

Time slowed down. It felt like I was standing away and watching while Gerard cradled his brother in his arms, yelling for him to not be dead. It felt like someone other than me was kneeling next Gerard, hugging his shoulders.

The sirens were but an echo in my mind as they announced the arrival of the ambulance. Out of the corner of my eye I see the paramedics rush in. It looks like slow motion as the paramedics separate Gerard from Mikey. As they pull Mikey away, Gerard's hands still reach out for him. The paramedics say that Mikey is still alive, barely. They wheel him into the back of the ambulance and we ride in there with Mikey.

While Mikey's in the ER, Gerard and I stand in the waiting room. Gerard is sobbing as I hold him in my arms and all I can do is stroke his head. Gerard keeps saying things like it's all his fault and that he never should've yelled at Mikey. My only reply is it's gonna be okay, but I feel like I'm lying to him because I have no idea how things will turn out. And as we're standing here, with Gerard's head on my shoulder, I see his parents rush in. The hospital must've called them while they were at work. I see them look a little surprised when they see the caring way Gerard is in my arms but they still rush forward and ask Gerard what happened to Mikey, and is Gerard okay?

Without lifting his head, Gerard quietly says, "He tried to kill himself, he stabbed himself in the abdomen."

I close my eyes and continue stroking Gerard's head. I hear his mother gasp before finally breaking down into tears. Gerard's dad envelopes her in his arms, trying to comfort her. When I opened my eyes, I see him eyeing me suspiciously, what does he think I did?

  Pretty soon a doctor comes out and approaches us. "Are you the family of Michael Wei?" the doctor asked and Gerard's mother nods. The doctor is quiet for a while before saying, "I'm sorry to say this, but your son has lost a lot of blood and we don't think he is going to make it." the solemn way the doctor spoke made this whole thing so real, up until that there was still a part of me that thought this was some sort of nightmare. All of a sudden I felt so lost, all I could do was to embrace my arms tighter around Gerard.

I hear Gerard's mom plead with the doctor, "Please save my son."

The doctor's only reply was, "We'll do everything we can." at that remark I hear Gerard's mom once again burst into tears. I feel Gerard shake in my arms, I don't know anything to say so I just stroke his back, hoping for the best.

But it wasn't meant to be. I see the doctor come out again. I don't know how much time has elapsed, but this can't be good. The doctor again approaches us and very serious and morosely says, "I'm afraid I have bad news. I'm sorry, but..." I didn't hear the rest of the statement, I didn't need to, I know how it ends. Mikey is dead.


It's been a week since Mikey... And things are really hard. I haven't been able to get back into classes or anything, I just keep seeing Mikey in Gerard's room. And I'm so worried about Gerard, he blames himself for what happened to Mikey. I'm with him everyday and I just hope that things will get better.

But then I remember that my dad is coming home soon, after being on a work trip. My dad doesn't know about Gerard and me, I'd like to keep it that way. In fact, my dad doesn't know a lot about me. But that doesn't stop him from... It's always nice when he's away, my mom and I don't have to worry, we don't have to be afraid. But he always comes back... He always says that things will be different. I stopped trusting him a long time ago. Things don't change.

This afternoon after school, I'm sitting in my room staring at the homework I'm trying to do. I'm not with Gerard because my mom asked me to be home this evening and that can mean only one thing, he's back.

I hear him come in the door and say hello to my mother, probably kissing her on the cheek and handing her a bouquet of flowers, even though he hasn't done anything yet. He seems happy enough so I head out of my room. I'm in the hall when he answers his ringing cell phone, so I hang back a little. I hear him talking, "oh hey Roy!" that's Gerard's father, "I just got back. It was a good safe trip... Wait what?" I hear him pause to listen, then, "He's what?! With who!? No, no, there must be some mistake... He did, did he? Well thank you for telling me... Yeah, I need to have a chat with him. I'll talk to you later." I hear him hang up.

All of a sudden I hear him yell at the top of his lungs, "Fraaank!!!"

"Oh, shit," I mutter under my breath. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I march into the living room to see my dad's face purple with anger. This is bad.